Growing up in our African culture, we were often taught that younger people could never be right. Therefore whenever disagreements arose with the elderly, the younger MUST of necessity apologize.
As a result, the younger would behave as he or she pleased, knowing that, in the end, they would simply be asked to apologize to the elder sibling. It was often an unfair position for the older siblings because they were expected to accept the apology, whether they genuinely felt ready to forgive or not. Their feelings were rarely considered, as cultural expectations placed a greater emphasis on maintaining respect for elders and preserving family harmony than on addressing the hurt that may have been caused.
From personal observation, people deliberately hurt others with the assumption that a simple apology later will erase the pain they have caused. They move through life believing that because forgiveness is available, accountability is optional. What they often fail to realize is that while words of apology may be spoken, the damage inflicted on a person’s heart- trust, confidence, reputation, or relationships may not be so easily repaired. Some wounds heal with time, while others leave scars that remain long after the offender has moved on.
As children of God, we are called to forgive. Forgiveness is not merely a suggestion; it is a command rooted in the grace that God has shown us. We forgive because Christ forgave us. We release bitterness, refuse to harbor resentment, and entrust justice to God. However, forgiveness should never be confused with forgetting wisdom. The Bible calls us to walk in both love and discernment.
The question then becomes: Does forgiveness require us to repeatedly place ourselves in situations where we are likely to be hurt again and again ? Must we continually lower our guard and allow the same person to walk back into our lives only to create the same mess over and over? While each situation is unique, forgiveness does not obligate us to abandon wisdom.
Jesus Himself instructed His followers to be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” Notice that He did not tell us to be naive. He called us to maintain a heart free from malice while exercising sound judgment. We can forgive someone without giving them unlimited access to our lives. We can pray for them, wish them well, and release them from our resentment while still recognizing patterns of behavior that have proven harmful.
So forgive freely, because forgiveness sets your heart free. But walk wisely, because wisdom protects the treasures God has entrusted to you. You can have a heart full of grace without leaving the door open for repeated harm. Forgiveness and wisdom are not enemies—they are companions in the journey of faith.
As you go this week remember forgiveness Heals the Heart, wisdom protects it. “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7.(KJV)
Don’t forget to smile coz it looks good on you.
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God bless you.
Pst. Kuku
